Dear Abby, I never thought I'd be writing to YOU about being gay but I'm now addicted to male masturbation, pornography [porno] and male masturbation porno, and here I am writing to you about being gay and addicted to male masturbation pornography [porno] and the erotic male masturbation porno! So I hope you don't mind that I wrote to you instead of to your sister, Ann, but she has asked that our secret conversations stick completely to naked men, cumshots, big dicks.